we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The beer is more important than you right now.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
