The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
