He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
