Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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