U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
