Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize