My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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