update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize