thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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