She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
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You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sobbing to NWA
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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