her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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