You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
