You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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