You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
