i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
