white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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