So drunk its hurt
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
