How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize