We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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