did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just had sex bonerless
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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