things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize