i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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