I'm going to jail i love you
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
