Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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