I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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