I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
