Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
