Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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