so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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