covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
