No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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