I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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