Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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