i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
