Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
