In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
