why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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