His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize