do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
high people should be assigned attendants
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
