Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
