"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
