i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just gargled with NyQuil
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize