My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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