you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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