I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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