I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
wow bdsm is so cute
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
