Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
