Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I came so hard my ears popped.
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