I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
did you just send me my own nude
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
