I seem to have left my pride at pride
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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