so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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