She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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