i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just threw up on my dentist
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
