my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
