First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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