May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
