Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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