Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
