New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
