Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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