Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
