I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
